Words. Listening. Discussion. Learning

Words. Listening. Discussion. Learning.

“Our words have power. They impact others, but they also impact us.”— Michael Hyatt


“Remember your words can plant gardens or can burn whole forests down!” - Gemma Troy


Unfortunately, that is more than true. Not only for politicians, who can basically decide about nature conservation and stopping wildfires by their action but also for a single human putting a word and a plan into action.


With every single time we think, say or write something a desire becomes stronger, so listen to the voices of yourself and the words of others.

A bit more about this book


This book was a process over many years. I’ve had the idea about writing a book for many years and the title “Ayudarme” was in my head for over 10 years, since I learned a bit spanish.

However, the title works out pretty good and especially in the combination with the website, which I started as a travel website called: TogetherAloneTours


Both and this book all have the desire to be all one and work as humans together instead of being against each other. We are all pretty impressive as single human beings, but society can often act pretty dump and irrational destructive. Imagine, if we all would put all our single full potential together and create a better word together. However, just dreaming a bit. It’s probably not possible, because therefore we would have to give up a bit of ourself.


I wrote these stories first in two diaries, probably produced in South East Asia. I bought one of the books in New Zealand (Australia/Oceania) and the other back in Germany (Europe). The cover of the first one shows

“AfricanArt - African ornamentation, abstracted depictions of people and animals and lovingly elaborated mandalas in the rich, warm colours of Africa.”

I’m German, writing it in probably American english, in New Zealand, with a Spanish title. I asked and wrote stories and mentioned friends all over the world in this book, so at least in this book and in my little world this book shows the peace between some friends all over the world.

Interesting fact knowledge about the title, you can basically decide between two different ways to write it.

Ayúdame is the imperative form - help me!

Ayúdame a buscar mis llaves - Help me look for my keys


Ayudarme is the infinitive form - to help me

Gracias por ayudarme - Thank you for helping me


I decided to choose the infinitive, more peaceful form to ask for help as a question and not as an imperative and request, so you have the choice. Quite interesting what is all hidden in one single little word. Right? Without sometimes even knowing it. Interesting.

"The quiter you become the more you can hear" (Rumi)

A friend showed me a picture today of a boat trip at Milford Sound.
I replied: "You're looking fat."
First the others laughed, because they didn't know what to say. Then they complained because I shouldn't say something like that to a girl.
Some thoughts why I said it.
First, it was the first funny thing coming to my mind and it was unexpected to say and a joke and whatelse should I say? Yes, Milford Sound looks amazing and you're beautiful - you know that already and why should I say something everyone jnows already, wasting my words.

- Françoise: What are you talking about?

 - Richard: Just making conversation.

 - Françoise: Do you have a girlfriend?

 - Richard: Here?

 - Françoise: Anywhere.

 - Richard: No, why?

 - Françoise: Just making conversation.”

 (Conversation, The Beach)

You're not fat and you know that! If I would have said. You look fluffy in your jacket it would be ok. I didn't say "You're fat!". I said, "You're looking fat (because of a jacket)".
In the end I just tried to make a conversation. To make the conversation a little bit more unexpected. However, I said sorry, sad to not discuss the words, I said and about what people hear.


1. "One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."  (Mc Gill)


2. "The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply."


3. "Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance." (Robert Quillen)



“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

I like dry sarcasm, just because it makes you think and it's playing with language. It's loosing the magic if others don't understand it and you have to explain it.

Wastebusters is open again and we waited in line. Martin, the friend I came with was for people in front of me in line and said I should just come next to him. I decided to ask polite the person behind. She replied with a smile: "NO, we are waiting here for hours." To be fair, I wasn't sure about her answer, because she was smiling while saying it and the waiting time was like 10 min, but in fact she meant it real.


A question:

"The important thing is not to stop questioning." (Albert Einstein)

"He who asks a question remains a fool for 5 minutes. He who does not ask remains a fool for a lifetime."(Chinese Proverb)

Why should I ask a question if it's not important for me? If I recommend something to someone, it's a process of thinking what she/he might like to recommend him something it's basically a gift of knowledge and an invitation to discuss.
If I ask for something, I ask because I'm interested and don't know it, or because I want to hear a opinion of someone, or because I want something.
If I read a rule, it's my responsibility as a thinking person to as if it's actually makes sense and maybe to discuss a rule, which is always kind of a opinion of someone I can question and discuss before accepting it. I'm not against rules but normally don't really like them if they're not making sense to me, because they always limit the freedom of self-detirmend thinking and acting.

I went into a shop and saw the quote of Love, written down in the Love chapter. Next to it a sign saying "Please don't take a picture of the things/art in this shop. Buy it to respect the artists." Compare it with signs like. "No pictures.". What do you like better? A please and a explanation to understand it makes me respect rules more. I still asked were the quote is from, that I really liked it but don't have a house to hang the quote up but would really love to write this quote down. I asked and explained and the shop owner listen and understood my request, so in the end she decided that the rule made no sense in my case.


Speak only if your words are more beautiful than silence. (Iman Ali)


"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something" (Plato)


The Triple Filter Test before Speaking 
In ancient Greece, Socrates (the famous philosopher) was visited by an acquaintance of his. Eager to share some juicy gossip, the man asked if Socrates would like to know the story he’d just heard about a friend of theirs.
 Socrates replied that before the man spoke, he needed to pass the “Triple-Filter” test.
The first filter, he explained, is Truth.
Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say is true?”
The man shook his head.“No, I actually just heard about it, and …
Socrates cut him off.
“You don’t know for certain that it is true, then. Is what you want to say something good or kind?”
Again, the man shook his head.“No! Actually, just the opposite. You see …”
Socrates lifted his hand to stop the man speaking.
“So you are not certain that what you want to say is true, and it isn’t good or kind. One filter still remains, though, so you may yet still tell me. That is Usefulness or Necessity. Is this information useful or necessary to me?”
A little defeated, the man replied,“No, not really.”
“Well, then,”Socrates said, turning on his heel.“If what you want to say is neither true, nor good or kind, nor useful or necessary, please don’t say anything at all.”

Before you answer a question or voice your opinion, ask yourself:
Is it true?
Is it good?
Is it kind?
Is it useful?
Is it necessary?

If it passes these filters, speak up. If not, either find a tactful way to make it pass or better still, keep it to yourself.

Most people leave it at that and assume that the story is just about the information we spread.

What if the real truth behind it, however, is about the information we seek and create. Imagine how different the world would be if we only chose to seek or create information that was true, good, or useful.Imagine how different the world would be if we only chose to seek orcreate information that was true, good, or useful. (https://www.quora.com/What-is-Triple-Filter-test-of-Socrates)


I think, a problem today is that we more and more communicate by short messages, not using the full potential and beauty of language. Instead of just calling sometimes or meet up we spend way to much time to write short misunderstanding messages. Just call or even better meet up otherwise we not learning but getting angry sometimes.

Also, I feel more and more that a promise is more often not reliable anymore.
A promise is  declaration or assurance that one will do something or that a particular thing will happen.
In the past you gave a hand on something and it was a deal. Nowadays, a president is sometimes sign a declaration just to neglect it by Twitter later. A rolemodel of trust? And people becoming similar in multiple ways. We want to be trustful and honest but my feeling is. It becomes less, as more time we spend on phones and technology, which makes sense because it cost us time and we don't have to be responsible when using electronical devices. It just makes life to easy and not self-determined.

When I talked to my friend Dali, the night before heading to the West Coast with some other friends making a plan to go to Ruby Island on Sunday evening, when I’m back to go there by paddle board and kayak and camp there and have dinner. I took it as a serious plan and promise. During the West Coast trip, we were slower than expected and came back late but I didn’t have any cell phone connection and my phone died at some point. So, I was all the time during the trip that Dali hopefully is not waiting too much. The first think, when I was back was sending him a message to say sorry in hundred ways, but he didn’t had me send one single message and was tired anyways and happy to have a calm unadventurous day. So, all my worries about my promise were senseless but to try to keep my word, I gave to a friend and trust is still important for me, because of the hundred times you waiting for a friend, sometimes he is waiting for you and that’s when great adventures happen


Song: Disturbed - The Song of Silence



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